Harry Potter and the Misadventures
by Queen of the Sacred Flames
Summary: A compilation of humorous oneshot fics. Sillyness, Randomness, and occational fluff and slash.
1. Ferret

**AN**: Hello folks, I've decided to redo this fic. This is a compilation of one-shot skits meant to be funny. Reviews would be savored and appreciated. I also accept suggestions!

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter, he belongs to JK Rowling.

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**HARRY POTTER  
****and the  
MISADVENTURES**

"**Draco The Ferret"**

(_A tiny warning: some slight slashy-ness in this one_)

Draco was mad… no, more than mad, he was pissed.

Moody, the real Moody, had returned to Hogwarts to teach and caught Draco trying to intimidate a first-year Gryffindor. Moody then turned Draco into a ferret to teach him a lesson, maybe he'd learn the second time around. Except Draco didn't stay to be transformed back, instead he did what all ferrets tend to do when panicked… he bolted.

Draco the fidgety ferret darted down the hall and around the corner, dooking (that's the sound ferrets make) all the way. After getting himself lost in Hogwarts as a ferret, Draco began to take control of his ferrety instincts and calmed down.

"_I can't believe Moody turned me into a freaking ferret… again!_" Draco thought as he padded down the hall, hoping to find either Madam Pomfry or Snape. But Draco wasn't lucky enough to find either of the two. Instead he found the one person that he didn't want to find, Harry Potter.

"Hi there lil' fella." Harry said when he saw the white ferret.

"_Oh crap-atoa._" Was all Draco could think.

Harry picked up the white ferret formerly Draco Malfoy and cuddled him. "Are you lost? You don't have a collar. Well, if no one claims you, then I'll keep you and take care of you."

"_Whoop-ee-do…_" Draco thought miserably.

After a few days of being with Harry, Draco was played with, cuddled, and practically slaved over. Draco began to think that ferrets really had it made. He even stopped wondering if any of the Slythrins missed him.

In the Slytherin dorm, Pansey had searched the Slytherin chambers for the 500th time and couldn't find her love. "Has anyone seen Draco?" she asked everyone in the common room.

"Who?" someone asked.

Anyway, back with Harry and Draco...

"Okay fella, bath-time." Harry picked up Draco the ferret and brought him into the Gryffindor boys' bathroom and filled the tub with warm water and bubbles. Harry put Draco the ferret in and scrubbed him clean.

Unfortunately (for some fans, fortunately), the spell worn off when scrubbed with water (don't ask why or how).

_POOF!_

Harry suddenly found himself staring at a naked, sudsy Draco where his ferret was. And Draco found himself staring at a shocked Harry.

Outside the bathroom door, Ron knocked and yelled, "Harry, you done in there yet?" The only reply Ron received was the door slamming into his face as Draco bolted out of the bathroom wearing only a towel and leaving a trail of suds in his wake. Ron then fell over with X's for eyes as Harry delayed-reaction yell echoed out of the bathroom.

The next day, Draco and Harry were paired up for Potions Class. It was rather uncomfortable if you could imagine.

Still thinking about him as a ferret however, Harry reached out and began to scratch Draco's ear. Draco was about to protest, but his remaining ferret instincts kicked in and he leaned into Harry's touch and purred, receiving strange looks from the other students.

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**AN**: Repeat: Reviews would be savored and appreciated. I also accept suggestions! 


	2. White Robes

"**White Robes"**

Today was just like any other at Hogwarts, the sun was shining, the birds were singing, Snape was wearing white robes…

Wait, WTF?

At least, that was what everyone thought when they saw Professor Snape approach the Head Table at breakfast one morning. His robes were white.

Yes you read right, _white_.

Not black, raven black, midnight black, oil black, octopus ink black, or any other variety of black that he always wears, but white.

Snape ignored the stares he received from everyone in the Great Hall and sat at his usual seat next to Lupin.

Lupin, struggling to hold down his laughter, just couldn't help but ask, "Severus, are you all white?"

If looks could kill, Lupin would have been a smoldering pile of ash.

That look instantly killed Lupin's impending laughter. "So, um… why the sudden change?"

Snape didn't answer for a bit, but then finally admitted, "The elves decided to try bleach on my laundry."

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AN**: Review please! 


	3. Its All Magic Right?

AN: Sorry for the long update, had trouble with internet connections :(

"**Its All Magic… Right?"**

Harry stood on the grounds of Hogwarts, his eyes alight with determination. His wand was at the ready, sweat beaded on his forehead and he ground his heels into the ground.

Ron and Hermione stood at the sidelines, watching Harry intently. Their eyes were fixed on Harry as he pointed his wand to the sky and bellowed…

"Summon Bahamut!"

….

Had this had been an anime; both Hermione and Ron would have fallen over in said style.

"Harry!" Hermione yelled. "We told you, no matter how powerful you've become you'll never be able to use Final Fantasy magic!"

"Fire2!"

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Still nothing happened.

Hermione sighed and dragged Ron with her as she left "It's hopeless."

Harry growled and pointed his wand to the sky again. "Summon Choco/Mog!"

….

Harry sighed, "Hermione's right, it's hopeless…"

No sooner did Harry say that, the whistling sound of a falling object cut through the silence. Harry looked up and saw the giant yellow butt of a fat Chocobo.

"AAHH-!"

_SMOOSH!_

And Harry was smooshed under the yellow fluffy mass that was a fat chocobo.

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AN**: Please R&R! 


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